The Sacred Possession

"All creative human beings have such experiences, which are known as 'possession by the sacred'. Suddenly, for a fraction of a second, we feel that our whole life is justified, our sins forgiven, and that love is still the strongest force, one that can transform us forever.

But, at the same time, we feel afraid. Surrendering completely to love, be it human or divine, means giving up everything, including our own well-being or our ability to make decisions. It means loving in the deepest sense of the word. The truth is that we don't want to be saved in the way God has chosen; we want to keep absolute control over our every step, to be fully conscious of our decisions, to be capable of choosing the object of our devotion.

It isn't like that with love - it arrives, moves in and starts directing everything. Only very strong souls allow themselves to be swept along..."

Paulo Coelho from 'The witch of Portobello'

Late in my circles...

(A biography of an 83 year old woman)


Who am I to complain? Life has its own ways of blessing everyone. Do not take me as an ungrateful person as from life I have nothing to complain of, however with me, life bestowed its bounties upon me only when I reached the last bit of my patience with it. Oh well late in my circles is how it has always been for me.

Maybe it started the day I was bestowed with life upon me as the last child to my parents. But that's beyond my memory of how I felt at that time; so then I guess beginning of it was when my parents barely heard my voice for the first time at an age at which my siblings used to provide my mother with full narratives of their day, but my parents were happy that atleast I talked. I started school, but was a slow learner. So I passed my matriculation much later in life then most of my age mates. Life's fast, but I was too slow to pace with it, yet I console myself in thinking that I wasn't left behind, lagging behind I would say for my benefit is still tolerable.

At my marriageable age, I used to attend my friends weddings hoping that the next one we all gather at would be mine. But that did not happen till the last of my friends got married off. Still I was happy not to die a spinster. I'm sure by now you have a fair idea of what i am talking about. Following that I also got blessed with my first son 10 years after my marriage, and so on. Hence at all the levels of life I continued my struggle and watched all from my circle, gathering their share and moving on, whereas i waited till the end to get in league of people of my circle.

And today at the age of 83, when many of my friends have left this world completing their required objective of life and moved on to the next one, now also as I rest myself from burial ceremony of my second son to die in front of my eyes; I lie here and think with a fearful heart that, what if life treats me like that again? what if I get to die after all of my friends and family have already passed? why cannot life have mercy on me just for once and leave my existence earlier than being the last one to see it all? because only if life had known how it feels to see the seedlings you've raised to wilt in front of you, I'm sure it would have made an exception this once, and how I wish to that I'm not late within my circles for this time...

Burhanism

Bur⋅ha⋅nism

 [Boo r-hah-niz-uhm] 

–noun

1.	any system or mode of thought or action in which human attributes, emotions, and personality are stretched to the limits.

2.	devotion to or study of the Burhanities.

3.	(sometimes initial capital letter) the studies, principles, or culture of the Burhanists.

Origin: 
2007–08; Burhan + -ism